“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17 NIV
Jesus, You want to sanctify me by your truth and Your Word is truth. What truth do you want to teach me today? In what area do I need to be sanctified by your Truth? By your Word?
“I LOVE YOU. I GET EXCITED WHEN YOU COME LISTEN TO ME. MY WORD IS TRUTH. TRUTH HEALS YOU AND GIVES YOU REST. GIVES YOU CONFIDENCE. MY WORD STILLS HUNGER IN YOU. MY WORD SATISFIES EVERY AND ANY NEED YOU HAVE. COME TO ME AND DRINK IN MY TRUTH AND YOU SHALL NEVER RUN DRY. MY WORD GROWS INSIDE OF YOU LIKE A TREE THAT THEN GROWS LEAVES AND FRUIT. MUCH FRUIT THAT WILL LAST. REMAIN IN MY WORD, REMAIN IN MY TRUTH. LOVE IS TRUTH. I AM LOVE. AND YOU REMAIN IN ME BY LOVING ME. AS YOU LOVE ME YOU RECEIVE MY TRUTH”.
Sitting here enjoying a chat with Jesus. His love embraces me and His words stir iside of me and I begin to write…
“THIS IS OUR PLACE, IT IS OUR ETERNAL PLACE. THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT. THIS IS THE PLACE FOR YOU AND ME, WHERE WE ENJOY EACH OTHER’S COMPANY. IT IS ALWAYS THERE, EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WRITE. ITS BECAUSE MY SPIRIT RESIDES IN YOU AND WON’T LEAVE YOU. I REFUSE TO LEAVE YOU. I STIR INSIDE OF YOU, MY LOVE, MY PASSION AND DESIRE. YOU ARE MINE AND YOU ARE BRANDED ETERNALLY. THIS IS MY MARK ON YOU. MY MARK OF LOVE. IT IS FOR YOU AND FOR ALL TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU BELONG TO ME”.
What would you like to say, Jesus? I feel you are quiet. I have so many thoughts and I don’t know what you are thinking. Are you sad? Are you dreaming with me? Are you happy? Are you waiting for something from me? What is on your mind?
“I ALWAYS LOVE YOU. ALWAYS LOVE YOU. I AM HAPPY YOU ALWAYS BRING EVERYTHING TO ME AND ASK FOR EVERYTHING IN PRAYER. THIS IS WHY YOUR LIFE IS FULL AND JOYFUL. BECAUSE YOU SUBMIT EVERYTHING TO ME AND YOU CARE ABOUT MY THOUGHTS. YES, MY THOUGHTS ARE ON YOU. I AM HAPPY WHEN YOU ARE HAPPY AND SAD WHEN YOU ARE SAD BUT I AM NEVER ANXIOUS. NEVER IMPATIENT. NEVER IN A HURRY. I AM ALWAYS READY TO SPEAK WHEN YOU ARE READY TO LISTEN. BUT IF YOU ARE AFRAID YOU CAN’T HEAR ME. I SPEAK AS LOUD AND CLEAR AS DAY. YOU CAN’T MISS IT IF YOU STAY CONNECTED TO ME. THERE IS NO MISSING MY WILL IF YOU STAY IN MY PRESENCE. AND THERE I LEAD YOU. I LEAD YOU TO QUIET WATERS MY WORD SAYS. ITS NO JOKE. I LEAD YOU. YOU CAN RELAX KNOWING I KNOW ALL THINGS BEFORE HAND AND I PLAN YOUR LIFE ALSO FOR YOU. THE HARDEST PART I DO, WHICH IS THE PLANNING. THE WALKING WITH ME IS EASY AND THAT IS YOUR PART. JUST WALK WITH ME. YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO DO THE FIGURING THINGS OUT. THAT PART IS MY JOB. YOU JUST WALK WITH ME. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I WISH WE ALWAYS TALKED OUT OUR FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS. BUT YOU WON’T LET ME SHARE ALWAYS. YET I AM NOT MAD. I AM HERE ALWAYS WHEN YOU WANT TO HEAR AND I AM READY TO SPEAK. I KNOW YOU ARE AFRAID TO COME LISTEN. I HAVE NOT GIVEN YOU A SPIRIT OF FEAR. BUT YOUR OWN FEAR HOLD YOU BACK FROM LISTENING TO ME. BUT I WILL PROVIDE WAYS FOR YOU TO STILL FIND MY LEADING, EVEN IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO COME HEAR. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH AND WILL GUIDE YOU CONTINUOUSLY WITH MY THOUGHTS. YES, EVEN WITH MY THOUGHTS I GUIDE YOU. I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH. MY MIND IS STAYED ON YOU”.
I hadn’t journaled in about a month I believe but this morning I really felt Jesus’s words flowing while I meditated on Him and I grabbed my iPad to start typing… He shared:
“MY DEAREST DOLL. HOW HAVE I MISSED YOU. YOU ARE LIKE A LIFELESS RAG DOLL WITHOUT ME. YOU NEED MY LIFE. MY LIFE KEEPS YOU ALIVE. I LOVE YOU. I HAVE MISSED YOU SO. YOU ARE MY FRIEND. I’VE MISSED MY FRIEND. YOU ARE NOT JUST MY SERVANT. YOU ARE A FRIEND. WE SHARE HEARTS. WE SHARE SECRETS. AND I’VE MISSED SHARING HEARTS WITH YOU AND SECRETS WITH YOU. COME TO ME NOW AND REST. I WANT YOU TO REST IN ME. YOU DO WELL TO TAKE A BREAK AND REST IN ME. THE ROAD AHEAD IS LONG AND YOU NEED TO REST IN ME. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THINGS AREN’T CLEAR. THEY DON’T HAVE TO BE BECAUSE I HOLD THE ROAD MAP. I HOLD THE BLUE PRINT AND YOU KNOW ALREADY THAT I DON’T DECEIVE NOR MISLEAD YOU. YOU JUST NEED TO WALK WITH ME DAILY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU BRING ME SO MUCH JOY. HOW I WISH TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU DAILY. I CAN’T STAND BEING WITHOUT YOU. THIS IS INDEED HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. I HATE IT WHEN WE DON’T SPEND TIME TOGETHER. I WANT YOU WITH ME. I AM FAINT WITH LOVE FOR YOU”.
“WHY ARE YOU ANGRY AT ME MY BEAUTIFUL ONE? HOW HAVE I HURT YOU? HOW HAVE I SHORT CHANGED YOU? HOW HAVE I DAMAGED YOUR LIFE? HAVE I? ARE YOU ABLE TO POINT A FINGER AT ME? WOULD YOU FIND ME GUILTY? WOULD I BE FOUND WITH FAULT? ARE YOU ABLE TO BLAME ME FOR SOMETHING? NO MY DARLING… THE WORD WAS TO KEEP CALM. THE WORD HAS NOT CHANGED. IT IS THE SAME TODAY. ‘KEEP CALM’. WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID ON YOUR INTERIOR? I HAVE NOT LOST TOUCH WITH ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE. I SERIOUSLY HAVE NOT. YOU HAVE LITTLE FAITH. I KNOW YOU ARE WILLING BUT YOU ARE WEAK. I KNOW HUMAN NATURE SO I AM NOT SURPRISED NOR AM I OFFENDED. I DON’T ACCUSE YOU LIKE THE DEVIL DOES. I KNOW YOUR INTERIORS. FAR MORE THEN YOU DO YOURSELF. WHY BE ANXIOUS MY LITTLE ONE? CAN YOU FIX ANYTHING BY WORRYING? ISN’T IT EASIER TO BE CARE FREE?
“I CELEBRATE YOU. I AM FULL OF JOY FOR THE ROAD WE ARE TAKING TOGETHER. THIS ROAD IS NOT DIFFICULT, IT IS ACTUALLY LEADING TO JOY AND YOU CAN NOW SEE IT. AS I SAID BEFORE, ‘I AM NEVER IN THE DISAPPOINTMENT BUSINESS’. WHAT YOU PERCEIVE AS DISAPPOINTMENT, I AM PREPARING FOR JOY. AND I REASSURE YOU, YOU WILL BE FULL OF JOY WHEN YOU REACH THAT LEVEL OF MATURITY I INTEND FOR YOU. YES, I CONSIDER YOU MATURE AND WISE. YOU ARE SO IN MY BOOKS. YOU JUST HAVE TO ALLOW ME TO MOLD YOU AS I AM ALREADY PLANNING TO CONTINUE TO DO. THIS ROAD IS FUN, EVEN WITH ROAD BLOCKS INCLUDED. ROAD BLOCKS DON’T HINDER ME AT ALL. DID YOU KNOW THAT? ROAD BLOCKS ARE NOT SET BACKS FOR ME. NEVER! NOT IN THEIR WILDEST DREAMS. ROAD BLOCKS ARE ACTUALLY BY MY DESIGN, THEY ARE MEANT FOR YOUR MOLDING. SWEET MOLDING. NOT BITTER TASTING. THIS IS FUN. CAN YOU TELL I AM EXCITED? I AM EXCITED BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW AND SEE THE HAPPY ENDING. YES, THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE FELT FOR A WHILE NOW THAT YOU CAN’T PERCEIVE EVER TO REACH A HAPPY ENDING. YES, THERE IS ONE. AND I DON’T MEAN IT’S THE END OF LIFE. YOU WILL REACH THE GOALS YOU WANT BECAUSE THEY ARE INSCRIBED IN MY HEART AND MIND AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT… I AM THINKING ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME. I AM NEVER OFF, I NEVER SLEEP. I HAVE YOUR WELL BEING IN MIND AT ALL TIMES. AND I LOVE THIS JOURNEY THAT WILL TAKE US THERE TOGETHER. YOU ALREADY SHINE LIKE A STAR. I MEAN IT. I SAID ‘HOLD ON, THIS IS ABOUT TO GET CRAZY WILD’. WHY DID YOU NOT BELIEVE? DID I NOT SAY THAT IF YOU BELIEVE, YOU WOULD SEE THE GLORY OF GOD? I LOVE YOU, KEEP BELIEVING AND KEEP WALKING”.
Ok, I got caught… I am a very organized person. I have to feel I have my ducks in a row. I have to have a system. Even in my walk with the Lord I feel I have to have a specific routine to keep me focused. I was about to create another formula, routine, system… to get access to the spiritual realm where I know there is breakthrough… (maybe a certain pattern to intercede or certain amount of hours or fasting or…. whatever I can do in my power to reach more of Him or maybe twist His arm for anwers even). Then I heard…
“THERE IS NOT A FORMULA. RELAX IN ME AND KNOW THAT I ANSWER WITHOUT YOU NEEDING TO PERFORM BY A CERTAIN FORMULA. REST IN ME. I HEAR YOUR PRAYERS. PRAY AND REST. THERE IS NO FORMULA. THERE IS NOTHING SET IN STONE, NO PARTICULAR ORDER. RELAX IN ME. I CREATE NO FORMULAS FOR YOU. TRUST ME FOR THE NEW. TRUST ME FOR THE FLOW. TRUST ME ON A DAILY BASIS. IT IS NEW EVERY DAY. TOSS AWAY ANY DESIRE FOR A FORMULA TO GO BY. IF FOLLOWING A FORMULA, YOU DON’T NEED TO TRUST ME. TRUST ONLY ME TO GIVE YOU NEW INSIGHT. AND THEN YOU CAN MOVE WITH MY WISDOM, NOT TRUSTING IN YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING OF A FORMULA. LET ME MOVE THROUGH YOU. LET ME CREATE NEW DESIGNS FOR YOU. LET ME FLOW THROUGH YOU. LET ME SHOW YOU THE NEW AND THE EXCITING. THE HIGH AND THE DEEP, THE WIDE AND THE STRONG. LET ME REVEAL TO YOU WHAT IS HIDDEN. WHAT YOU KNOW NOT. AT LEAST NOT YET, BUT I WILL REVEAL TO YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND CHERISH YOU. I SHARE SECRETS WITH THOSE WHO LOVE ME. AND THIS IS IT. TRUSTING ME DAILY FOR THESE, NOT LEANING ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. THIS DAY IS NEW. YESTERDAY IS GONE. TOMORROW IS STILL COMING BUT I AM ALREADY THERE. DON’T YOU THINK IT IS BEST TO JUST ENJOY ME AND TRUST ME EACH NEW DAY WITH NEW FLOW? I LOVE YOU AND LOVE GIGGLING FREELY WITH YOU. WHO CARES ABOUT THE REST?”
Wow… It’s been a week since I posted this other entry. I went to re-read this morning and my eyes became wide when I saw the same word “formula”. He talked about it before I realize now. He must be wanting to deal with my need to create patterns and formulas to feel more successful in all I do.
“It’s not looking good, Jesus!!!”
“AND… SAYS WHO? WHO IS DRAWING THAT CONCLUSION? WHO HAS DECIDED IT IS NOT LOOKING GOOD? ARE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES THE LAST OF OPTIONS? WHO DECIDES WHEN THINGS LOOK GOOD AND WHEN THINGS LOOK BAD? HAVE YOU NOT READ IN SCRIPTURE HOW MANY THINGS APPARENTLY LOOKED BAD? LAZARUS DIED. THERE WAS NO FOOD FOR 5,000 MEN. THERE WAS NO MORE WINE AT THE WEDDING. THINGS LOOKED BAD. IS THAT HOW I LEFT THEM? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN IN SCRIPTURE? HAVE YOU NOT READ? ARE YOU STILL SO UNBELIEVING? WHO HAS SET A FORMULA FOR YOU? WHO HAS SET THE MOLD THAT YOU SHOULD MEASURE UP TO? I AM HE. I AM HE WHO SPEAKS AND CREATES OUT OF NOTHING. DO I NEED YOUR HELP IN ANYTHING? AM I IMPRESSED WITH YOUR WORKS SO MUCH SO AS TO NEED YOU TO ASSIST ME IN SOMETHING? NO MY DARLING. I NEVER ARRIVE LATE, I NEVER NEED SOMETHING TO BEGIN WITH. AND I CERTAINLY DONT NEED YOUR HELP OR OPINION IF IT LOOKS GOOD OR NOT. YOU CAN REJOICE THAT I’VE GOT THIS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU MAKE ME SMILE.
Tonight I was struggling internally with my fleshly nature! I really wanted to act in the flesh! But I had just prayed last night that God would set me free from this. And tonight already I was put on the test. I sat there struggling. I knew what my flesh wanted to do which was the wrong attitude. But I ended up doing the right thing. I did what I knew I should do. I fixed my attitude. But later I sat down to journal. “God. I didn’t like feeling that way, having that struggle. I just prayed to be free. How can I be free, Jesus?? How can I know I am free?”
“YOU ARE FREE IN THIS – TO MAKE YOUR CHOICE. THAT’S HOW FREE YOU ARE. I HAVE GIVEN YOU FREE WILL. YOU CAN WALK IN THAT FREEDOM TO MAKE YOUR CHOICE DAILY. WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE? WHOM WILL YOU LISTEN TO? TO MY SPIRIT OR THE FLESH? BOTH SCREAM AS LOUD. AND YOU HEAR BOTH. YOU CLEARLY HEAR BOTH. THAT’S THE FREEDOM YOU HAVE. TO KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG AND CHOOSE. I DONT BIND YOU. I LET YOU BE FREE TO CHOOSE. YOU TELL ME HOW YOU WANT TO BE FREE”.
“Yes, my Lord Jesus. You are right!!! I hear both very loudly!!! Very loudly. Knowing I should submit to your Spirit who is nudging me and feeling that sinful nature rising. Can’t I be free from feeling that sinful nature rising?”
“YOU LIVE IN FLESH AND BLOOD. SIN WILL ALWAYS LURK. IT SEEKS YOUR LIFE. IT SEEKS TO BIND YOU. TO CONTROL YOU. YOU WILL WALK IN SUBMISSION. BUT TO WHOM? YOU WILL OBEY. BUT WHOM? YOU WILL BOW. BUT TO WHOM? I WOULD THAT YOU WOULD SUBMIT TO ONLY ME. THAT YOU’D OBEY ONLY ME. THAT YOU’D BOW TO ONLY ME. AND YET I GIVE YOU THAT FREE WILL. I NEVER TAKE THAT FREE WILL FROM YOU BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO CHOOSE TO LOVE ME. ON YOUR OWN. NOT FORCED. YOU ARE FREE MY DARLING. WALK IN FREEDOM”.
I came to Jesus to express my sadness over some things that didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to. I asked Him if maybe I was just being impatient. I really thought maybe that was my problem. Instead He showed me the true issue…
“THERE IS NO FEAR IN LOVE. YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME TO KNOW THAT I WILL NOT LEAD YOU TO FALL INTO A HOLE. YOU CAN TRUST ME IN YOUR STEPS. COMMIT YOUR WAYS TO ME. I CAN TAKE CARE OF THIS. I CAN TAKE CARE OF WHAT YOU FEAR. YOU FEAR PEOPLE WRONGING YOU. YOU FEAR LOSING MONEY AT THE HAND OF COLD UNCARING PEOPLE WHO ARE READY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. CAN YOU AND ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE ME THAT FEAR? FEAR IS GRIPPING YOU AND YOU HAVE NO FREEDOM TO LOVE. YOU ARE NOT FREE TO LOVE PEOPLE OR WHAT YOU DO BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH FEAR ATTACHED TO IT. LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE WILLING TO LET GO OF THIS FEAR BASED ON PAST EXPERIENCES. YES, THOSE EXPERIENCES IN THE PAST WERE UGLY BUT I WAS THERE WITH YOU. EVEN NOW I AM WITH YOU AND READY TO HEAL YOU. IF YOU ONLY LET ME. DO YOU TRUST ME THAT I AM NOT HERE TO ABUSE YOU? DO YOU TRUST ME THAT I CAN PROTECT YOU FROM ABUSERS? IF YOU CONTINUE TO LIVE IN FEAR, YOU WILL MISS OUT ON MY BLESSINGS. I WISH NOT FOR YOU TO KEEP REAPING THE FRUIT OF LIVING IN FEAR. I WANT YOU TO BE FREE. IF I SAY JUMP, WOULD YOU? WOULD YOU? BLINDLY? THIS IS ULTIMATE TRUST. CAN YOU TRUST ME LIKE THAT? ‘CAUSE RIGHT NOW YOU ARE HOLDING BACK. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROCEED? “
I would like to forgive, Jesus. People who took advantage of me in the past and wronged me. Help me to trust you and love people. I am willing. I can in Your Name.