Sitting here enjoying a chat with Jesus. His love embraces me and His words stir iside of me and I begin to write…
“THIS IS OUR PLACE, IT IS OUR ETERNAL PLACE. THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT. THIS IS THE PLACE FOR YOU AND ME, WHERE WE ENJOY EACH OTHER’S COMPANY. IT IS ALWAYS THERE, EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WRITE. ITS BECAUSE MY SPIRIT RESIDES IN YOU AND WON’T LEAVE YOU. I REFUSE TO LEAVE YOU. I STIR INSIDE OF YOU, MY LOVE, MY PASSION AND DESIRE. YOU ARE MINE AND YOU ARE BRANDED ETERNALLY. THIS IS MY MARK ON YOU. MY MARK OF LOVE. IT IS FOR YOU AND FOR ALL TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU BELONG TO ME”.
I hadn’t journaled in about a month I believe but this morning I really felt Jesus’s words flowing while I meditated on Him and I grabbed my iPad to start typing… He shared:
“MY DEAREST DOLL. HOW HAVE I MISSED YOU. YOU ARE LIKE A LIFELESS RAG DOLL WITHOUT ME. YOU NEED MY LIFE. MY LIFE KEEPS YOU ALIVE. I LOVE YOU. I HAVE MISSED YOU SO. YOU ARE MY FRIEND. I’VE MISSED MY FRIEND. YOU ARE NOT JUST MY SERVANT. YOU ARE A FRIEND. WE SHARE HEARTS. WE SHARE SECRETS. AND I’VE MISSED SHARING HEARTS WITH YOU AND SECRETS WITH YOU. COME TO ME NOW AND REST. I WANT YOU TO REST IN ME. YOU DO WELL TO TAKE A BREAK AND REST IN ME. THE ROAD AHEAD IS LONG AND YOU NEED TO REST IN ME. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THINGS AREN’T CLEAR. THEY DON’T HAVE TO BE BECAUSE I HOLD THE ROAD MAP. I HOLD THE BLUE PRINT AND YOU KNOW ALREADY THAT I DON’T DECEIVE NOR MISLEAD YOU. YOU JUST NEED TO WALK WITH ME DAILY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU BRING ME SO MUCH JOY. HOW I WISH TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU DAILY. I CAN’T STAND BEING WITHOUT YOU. THIS IS INDEED HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. I HATE IT WHEN WE DON’T SPEND TIME TOGETHER. I WANT YOU WITH ME. I AM FAINT WITH LOVE FOR YOU”.
“I CELEBRATE YOU. I AM FULL OF JOY FOR THE ROAD WE ARE TAKING TOGETHER. THIS ROAD IS NOT DIFFICULT, IT IS ACTUALLY LEADING TO JOY AND YOU CAN NOW SEE IT. AS I SAID BEFORE, ‘I AM NEVER IN THE DISAPPOINTMENT BUSINESS’. WHAT YOU PERCEIVE AS DISAPPOINTMENT, I AM PREPARING FOR JOY. AND I REASSURE YOU, YOU WILL BE FULL OF JOY WHEN YOU REACH THAT LEVEL OF MATURITY I INTEND FOR YOU. YES, I CONSIDER YOU MATURE AND WISE. YOU ARE SO IN MY BOOKS. YOU JUST HAVE TO ALLOW ME TO MOLD YOU AS I AM ALREADY PLANNING TO CONTINUE TO DO. THIS ROAD IS FUN, EVEN WITH ROAD BLOCKS INCLUDED. ROAD BLOCKS DON’T HINDER ME AT ALL. DID YOU KNOW THAT? ROAD BLOCKS ARE NOT SET BACKS FOR ME. NEVER! NOT IN THEIR WILDEST DREAMS. ROAD BLOCKS ARE ACTUALLY BY MY DESIGN, THEY ARE MEANT FOR YOUR MOLDING. SWEET MOLDING. NOT BITTER TASTING. THIS IS FUN. CAN YOU TELL I AM EXCITED? I AM EXCITED BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW AND SEE THE HAPPY ENDING. YES, THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE FELT FOR A WHILE NOW THAT YOU CAN’T PERCEIVE EVER TO REACH A HAPPY ENDING. YES, THERE IS ONE. AND I DON’T MEAN IT’S THE END OF LIFE. YOU WILL REACH THE GOALS YOU WANT BECAUSE THEY ARE INSCRIBED IN MY HEART AND MIND AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT… I AM THINKING ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME. I AM NEVER OFF, I NEVER SLEEP. I HAVE YOUR WELL BEING IN MIND AT ALL TIMES. AND I LOVE THIS JOURNEY THAT WILL TAKE US THERE TOGETHER. YOU ALREADY SHINE LIKE A STAR. I MEAN IT. I SAID ‘HOLD ON, THIS IS ABOUT TO GET CRAZY WILD’. WHY DID YOU NOT BELIEVE? DID I NOT SAY THAT IF YOU BELIEVE, YOU WOULD SEE THE GLORY OF GOD? I LOVE YOU, KEEP BELIEVING AND KEEP WALKING”.
“It’s not looking good, Jesus!!!”
“AND… SAYS WHO? WHO IS DRAWING THAT CONCLUSION? WHO HAS DECIDED IT IS NOT LOOKING GOOD? ARE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES THE LAST OF OPTIONS? WHO DECIDES WHEN THINGS LOOK GOOD AND WHEN THINGS LOOK BAD? HAVE YOU NOT READ IN SCRIPTURE HOW MANY THINGS APPARENTLY LOOKED BAD? LAZARUS DIED. THERE WAS NO FOOD FOR 5,000 MEN. THERE WAS NO MORE WINE AT THE WEDDING. THINGS LOOKED BAD. IS THAT HOW I LEFT THEM? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN IN SCRIPTURE? HAVE YOU NOT READ? ARE YOU STILL SO UNBELIEVING? WHO HAS SET A FORMULA FOR YOU? WHO HAS SET THE MOLD THAT YOU SHOULD MEASURE UP TO? I AM HE. I AM HE WHO SPEAKS AND CREATES OUT OF NOTHING. DO I NEED YOUR HELP IN ANYTHING? AM I IMPRESSED WITH YOUR WORKS SO MUCH SO AS TO NEED YOU TO ASSIST ME IN SOMETHING? NO MY DARLING. I NEVER ARRIVE LATE, I NEVER NEED SOMETHING TO BEGIN WITH. AND I CERTAINLY DONT NEED YOUR HELP OR OPINION IF IT LOOKS GOOD OR NOT. YOU CAN REJOICE THAT I’VE GOT THIS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU MAKE ME SMILE.
I was reading Scripture this morning and light shone on my heart. I felt the need to talk about the Lord about some wrong attitudes in me. I wanted to ask Him about those and let Him know I want Him to change my heart. I love it that He doesn’t lash out at us when we are wrong…
“MY DARLING. I LOVE YOUR OPENNESS WITH ME. I LOVE THAT YOU DON’T HIDE ANYTHING. THERE IS NO POINT, I SEE IT ANYWAY. THANK YOU FOR BEING OPEN WITH ME. I LOVE IT. I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE US. I’M IN LOVE WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP. I LOVE WHAT WE HAVE TOGETHER. I LOVE BEING WITH YOU. I LOVE THAT YOU KEEP COMING TO ME. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU. AND I LOVE THAT I CAN MAKE YOU SMILE TOO. CAUSE YOU MAKE ME SMILE ALL THE TIME. I THINK YOU’RE SO CUTE.
NOW, NOTHING CUTE ABOUT THE THINGS YOU MENTIONED, BUT NOTHING MY BLOOD CAN’T COVER. NOT ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME AND NOT ANYTHING I AM FREAKING OUT OVER. NOT ANYTHING I CAN’T HELP YOU WITH. SEE, MY OWN BLOOD DOES THIS. I AM COOL LIKE THAT. I LOVE CLEANING UP MESSES. I LOVE RESTORING. I LOVE FORGIVING. I LOVE MAKING THINGS RIGHT IN YOU AND I LOVE THAT YOU ARE WILLING. I AM WILLING. I AM MORE THEN WILLING. THESE THINGS I SHALL DO FOR YOU AS YOU STAY WITH ME. YES, I WANT TO CHANGE YOUR HEART. YOUR HEART IS MINE ANYWAY AND I CHANGE IT THE WAY I WANT IT, JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT. THANK YOU FOR BEING WILLING. THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST. I LOVE YOU”.
MY DARLING, I SEE YOUR SORROW. IT IS GOOD FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE SORROW, EVEN FOR A MOMENT, FOR CHANGE OF HEART TO HAPPEN. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, I CAN NOT LEAVE YOU IN YOUR OLD WAYS. I WANT TO CHANGE YOUR HEART AND I CAN PERFORM THIS TYPE OF SURGERY. I AM GOOD AT IT. YOU WILL NOT NEED ANESTHESIA BECAUSE IT WILL NOT HURT. YOU ARE FEELING SORROW BUT THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF PAIN THAT FOOLS WILL EXPERIENCE. IT HURTS FAR MORE TO CONTINUE LIVING AS A FOOL. I AM GOOD AT WHAT I DO. YOU CAN TRUST ME TO GUIDE YOUR REPENTANT HEART. I AM NOT LATE, NO. TRUST ME THAT I AM NOT LATE. THIS IS THE RIGHT TIMING. THIS WAS THE PROPER TRAINING. YOU ARE NOW WISER BECAUSE OF THIS ROUTE. ANOTHER ROUTE WOULD HAVE NOT DONE THE JOB. TRUST ME. REMEMBER I SAID I AM NOT IN A HURRY. YOU GO BY YEARS THIS PROCESS IS TAKING BECAUSE YOU GO BY HUMAN CLOCK. I DON’T GO BY HUMAN CLOCK. I WORK IN HEARTS, HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES ON YOUR CLOCK BUT I DO A PERFECT JOB. I DO NOT CUT CORNERS TO MAKE PROCESSES FASTER. THIS IS MY TIMING AND THE OUTCOME WILL BE PERFECT. YOU CAN TRUST ME IN THIS. EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE THEIR OWN PROCESS AND THEY ALSO WILL LEARN FROM IT. YOUR PROCESS IS UNIQUE AND THIS IS HOW I CHOOSE TO USE YOU TO BLESS OTHER LIVES. I LOVE YOUR REPENTANCE AND IT FEELS GOOD INSIDE. WHAT A FREEDOM. IT IS FOR THIS FREEDOM THAT I HAVE SET YOU FREE. DO NOT SUBMIT AGAIN TO THE YOKE OF SLAVERY, WALKING IN YOUR OWN WAYS. YOU ALONE WOULD CONTINUE TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND AM VERY PROUD OF YOU. TO ME YOU SHINE LIKE A STAR.
“yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, …..” (2 Corinthians 7:9-11 NIV)
DRINK IN ME MY LOVE. TRULY DRINK IN ME. ITS MY PRESENCE THAT GROWS YOU. ULTIMATELY ITS MY PRESENCE THAT GROWS YOU. LIKE ITS A MOTHERS MILK THAT GROWS A BABY IN SIZE AND IN HEALTH AND IN NOURISHMENT. YOU CAN’T GROW YOURSELF IN THESE AREAS. YOU CAN LEARN A LOT FROM OTHERS AND APPLY. BUT I GROW YOU WITH MY PRESENCE. THAT’S WHY MY WORD SAYS THAT HE WHO LACKS WISDOM, LET HIM ASK OF GOD. YOU DON’T LEARN WISDOM FROM READING. YOU BECOME SMART BY READING AND GROW IN KNOWLEDGE. BUT YOU LEARN WISDOM WITH ME. LIVING WITH ME. LIVING WITH MY SPIRIT. DWELLING WITH MY SPIRIT. LET MY LOVE GROW YOU LIKE THE SUN AND WATER GROW TOMATOES. JUST REST IN ME AND GROW. JUST REST IN ME AND GROW. THIS IS THE BEST WAY FOR ME TO EXPLAIN IN HUMAN LANGUAGE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND. I AM PLAIN. I AM DOWN TO EARTH. TOMATOES TAKE UP WATER AND DRINK IN THE SUN. AND THEY GROW. THEY JUST DO. AND THEY TURN RIPE IN DUE SEASON. THEIR COLOR CHANGE. THEIR SIZE GROWS. NOT BECAUSE THEY WERE STRIVING TO DO SO. THEY JUST TAKE UP WATER AND DRINK IN THE SUN. AND THEY GROW. WHY DON’T YOU DO THE SAME. JUST STAY ON THE VINE AND GROW. DRINK UP IN ME, THE SON, AND GROW.
After I was done journaling that section, I thought I’d go read Scripture and guess what passage I find in front of me! So I used all the things He just told me and replaced the original words just for my own sake. And it was like “wooooow”!!! He is so down to earth in explaining so we understand Him……
“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to WHEN WILL YOU FINALLY REACH YOUR GOAL, WHEN WILL YOU FINALLY BECOME THE PERSON YOU ASPIRE TO BE. Is not life more than THESE GOALS? Look at the BABIES IN THEIR MOTHERS ARMS, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them AT THEIR MOTHER’S BREASTS. Are you not worth AS MUCH AS they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life OR MORE WISDOM? And why are you worried about YOUR GROWTH? Observe how the TOMATOES IN A GARDEN grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so GROWS TOMATOES WHICH ARE ON A VINE today and tomorrow ARE FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET, will He not much more GROW you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, WHEN WILL I REACH MY DESTINY? For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you DESIRE all these things. But DRINK IN MY LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE DAILY, and all these things will be added to you. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ( ADAPTED FROM Matthew 6:25-34 NASB)
Good morning Holy Spirit… You inspired me to ask you what crazy thing is on your heart. I’d like to hear something FUN that you would like to share with me. Something we never talked about before. Not work related. Something YOU are excited about and you want to tell me because I am your friend. Not just exchanging love words but friends talking. I should do this more often. You are about relationships. Lets practice…
GOOD MORING, MY FRIEND! HOW ARE YOU DOING? I LOVE BEING YOUR FRIEND. I LOVE TO BE FREE AND NOT TO HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WHAT IS ON YOUR AGENDA. THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME. I AM CURIOUS TOO. I HAVE CURIOUSITY….. AND I LIKE FLOWERS. I LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH OF FLOWERS. I LOVE BOQUETS. VARIOUS COLORS.
What? Why are you excited about flowers? Why are flowers fun? Why are we talking about flowers? Do you want me to buy someone flowers? I can do it. If so, for whom? My brain starts drawing conclusions and imagine things and I have a hard time listening to where you are going with this. You want to explain biology to me or you have an assignment for me?
I WANT YOU TO REST. YOU ARE TOO USED TO ‘DOING’. YOU ARE TOO USED TO RUNNING AROUND AND DOING AND PERFORMING. CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT FLOWERS? I LOVE FLOWERS. I LIKE MANY FLOWERS. I LOVE HOW ALL THE FLOWERS ARE DIFFERENT IN SHAPE, COLOR, SIZE AND HOW THEY LIVE AND HOW THEY ARE NOURISHED.
Really? I am sitting here waiting for what’s the catch.
I KNOW! I KNOW YOU ARE FULL OF PERFORMANCE AND I’D LIKE TO BREAK THAT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I WANT YOU TO RELAX. I DON’T ALWAYS WANT TO HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. I WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR FRIEND! CAN WE FOCUS ON RELATIONSHIP? WITHOUT THE DOING? WITHOUT THE PERFORMING?
Wow. That’s it. I have nothing more to say. I am caught again in the act of ‘performance’.
So, Jesus… I love you. I love sitting with you in such a personal way. I can bring my ugliness to you even. And I feel safe. I love you so much. I feel so good I can be real with you. And you don’t judge me. It’s safe here. The only place I can be safe. And you love me. You don’t get tired. You enjoy me and love me even if I am ugly today. I love that you love me so. I love you back. And I am willing to hear you because you always speak truth! You don’t say things based on assumption. You don’t blame, you don’t assume the worst of me. You know the whole truth because you see it all and know it all. If you brought truth forth, it is never to condemn or shame. So I am happy to listen to you. What would you want to say my Love. Where do I stand with you?
YOU STAND IN A GOOD PLACE WITH ME. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU. I WANT YOU FOR MYSELF AND YOU ARE GIVING ME THAT PLACE. I AM SO OVER JOYED. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU…. I DO LOVE YOU. DO YOU GET TIRED OF ME SAYING IT? I LOVE YOU. AND I KISS YOU. AND I HUG YOU. AND I EMBRACE YOU. AND I ACCEPT YOU. AND I APPROVE OF YOU. AND I LIFT YOU. AND I SO LOVE YOU. I DON’T HAVE MORE WORDS TO SAY. LANGUAGE DOES NOT FIT. MY EMOTIONS ARE GREATER THEN LANGUAGE. WE HAVE A LANGUAGE BARRIER ISSUE. LANGUAGE DOES NOT GO THAT FAR. THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN PUT MY FEELINGS FOR YOU INTO WORDS.
I feel sooo safe with you, JESUS!! So light. So enough. So enough. This is enough. All that I have in our relationship is more then enough.
Father help me die to unhealthy thoughts. They don’t help me and become even sinful… What do you have to say?
AS YOU STAY WITH ME, I AM FAITHFUL TO REMOVE SIN FROM YOU. AND I REMOVE THEM AS FAR AS THEY EAST IS FROM THE WEST. I WILL NOT REMEMBER THEM. AS IF THEY NEVER EXISTED. I LOVE YOU LIKE THAT. WHAT SIN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I DON’T REMEMBER. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
Wow, God. How quick you are to forgive and forget!
He smiles and continues…. I CAN’T GET TIRED OF REPEATING. IN FACT I’VE BEEN REPEATING FOR YEARS. CAN’T YOU REMEMBER MY FIRST WORDS TO YOU? WEREN’T THEY ‘”COME TO ME”? I AM STILL SAYING THE SAME THING TO YOU. YES, IT IS NOT A SURPRISE. IT IS NOT JUST A FUNNY OR COMMON SENTENCE. I ACTUALLY MEAN TO BECKON TO YOU DAILY. COME TO ME, LISETTE. COME TO ME. COME TO ME, MY LOVE. IT IS IN COMING TO ME THAT YOU FIND REST. YOU FIND STRATEGY. YOU FIND YOUR WINS. YOU FIND PLEASURE AND PEACE. IT IS BY COMING TO ME. IT IS WHERE YOU WILL FIND JOY AS YOU ARE NOW EXPERIENCING. IT IS BY COMING TO ME. SEE WHERE YOU ARE. FREE OF WORRY AND FRET. IT’S BECAUSE YOU HAVE COME TO KNOW ME HERE. YOU COME KNOW ME ON A DAILY BASIS. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO KNOW ME TODAY. YOU COME TO KNOW ME. YOU COME TO EXPERIENCE ME. AND THIS IS OUR EXPERIENCE. THIS IS HOW WE LOVE EACH OTHER AND GROW INTO EACH OTHER. I AM GROWN INTO YOU. I WANT YOU TO GROW IN ME. I CHOSE YOU FIRST, NOW I WANT YOU TO CHOSE ME. I LOVED YOU FIRST, NOW I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME BACK. I WANT YOUR LOVE. I WANT YOUR LOVE. I WANT YOU FOR ME. I DON’T WANT TO SHARE YOU WITH YOU. I WANT YOU.