I was talking to the Lord about some dissapointments and emotions. There are times when you feel that things would be better if …. (fill in the blanks). It seems like we are never 100% satisfied. Maybe I would be more valued if …. more appreciated if… more happy if…. more satisfied if… more fulfilled if…more content if…
But it was that still small voice that said “I WANT TO BE YOUR COMPLETE SATISFACTION”. I realized that indeed it is futile to assume that a better situation, location or even activity would make me more fulfilled and satisfied. As I sat down a few days later to journal what the Lord had to say, He asked again to allow Him to be that TOTAL FULFILLMENT in my life. He already approved of me, already saved me, already has me as His prized possession, already called me… nothing more is needed to fulfill or satisfy my soul. He also warned that our heart is always where our god is and that He wants to be my Only God. Even ministry does not complete me like He completes me.
Lord Jesus… help me each time I find myself disappointed for not feeling accomplished enough, satisfied enough, valued enough or whatever else. Help me focus on You as my total satisfaction and that my soul needs nothing else. You are enough.
Sitting here enjoying a chat with Jesus. His love embraces me and His words stir iside of me and I begin to write…
“THIS IS OUR PLACE, IT IS OUR ETERNAL PLACE. THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT. THIS IS THE PLACE FOR YOU AND ME, WHERE WE ENJOY EACH OTHER’S COMPANY. IT IS ALWAYS THERE, EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WRITE. ITS BECAUSE MY SPIRIT RESIDES IN YOU AND WON’T LEAVE YOU. I REFUSE TO LEAVE YOU. I STIR INSIDE OF YOU, MY LOVE, MY PASSION AND DESIRE. YOU ARE MINE AND YOU ARE BRANDED ETERNALLY. THIS IS MY MARK ON YOU. MY MARK OF LOVE. IT IS FOR YOU AND FOR ALL TO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU BELONG TO ME”.
2nd book review on the topic. It was at a Confererence that I heard James Goll talk about how he prophisied to a man, repeating 23 times that this man was going to hell. Bill Wiese was indeed taken to Hell by the Lord for 23 minutes one night and came back so he could warn others and tell of this beyond-horrific experience. I was very curious to read his book 23 Minutes In Hell after having read Mary Baxter’s A Divine Revelation Of Hell and compare their experiences. No surprise! Both gave same descriptions. Our soul will still have a body after death. Where will you spend eternity after you die? We will still have our 5 senses which are more keen in the spirit world than in the natural dimension. Both Bill and Mary discribed the pits of hell as they saw it. Both experienced the torture and the pain.
Then I saw that actually Youtube has several more accounts of people who experienced hell and came back to tell about it. And even so many still don’t believe Hell is a real place. This is baffling, seeing that in Luke 16:19-31 the rich man in torment in hell begs Abraham to send Lazarus back to his brothers to warn them of hell, to which Abraham replies that they have Moses and the Prophets to listen to. The rich man argues that if someone goes back from the dead, they would believe and repent. Abraham reassures him that if they are not convinced by the Prophets, neither will they be convinced even if someone comes back from the dead to warn them. And it is so! Still after these accounts of people who have experienced hell and came back to tell us, many still don’t believe it. One lady specifically told me: “You have to take those acounts with a grain of salt. All of their accounts are different, so…”. She does not believe in Hell even after reading some of these accounts. It’s like saying: “everyone I know who traveled to Paris came back with a different account. Therefore I don’t believe Paris exists”. Please people…. repent and escape Hell!
I hadn’t journaled in about a month I believe but this morning I really felt Jesus’s words flowing while I meditated on Him and I grabbed my iPad to start typing… He shared:
“MY DEAREST DOLL. HOW HAVE I MISSED YOU. YOU ARE LIKE A LIFELESS RAG DOLL WITHOUT ME. YOU NEED MY LIFE. MY LIFE KEEPS YOU ALIVE. I LOVE YOU. I HAVE MISSED YOU SO. YOU ARE MY FRIEND. I’VE MISSED MY FRIEND. YOU ARE NOT JUST MY SERVANT. YOU ARE A FRIEND. WE SHARE HEARTS. WE SHARE SECRETS. AND I’VE MISSED SHARING HEARTS WITH YOU AND SECRETS WITH YOU. COME TO ME NOW AND REST. I WANT YOU TO REST IN ME. YOU DO WELL TO TAKE A BREAK AND REST IN ME. THE ROAD AHEAD IS LONG AND YOU NEED TO REST IN ME. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THINGS AREN’T CLEAR. THEY DON’T HAVE TO BE BECAUSE I HOLD THE ROAD MAP. I HOLD THE BLUE PRINT AND YOU KNOW ALREADY THAT I DON’T DECEIVE NOR MISLEAD YOU. YOU JUST NEED TO WALK WITH ME DAILY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU BRING ME SO MUCH JOY. HOW I WISH TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU DAILY. I CAN’T STAND BEING WITHOUT YOU. THIS IS INDEED HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. I HATE IT WHEN WE DON’T SPEND TIME TOGETHER. I WANT YOU WITH ME. I AM FAINT WITH LOVE FOR YOU”.
“I LOVE YOU MY DARLING FLOWER. HOW I LOVE AND ENJOY YOU. YOU ARE LIKE A LITTLE GIRL TO ME. YOU ARE SO CUTE. I ENJOY THIS TIME WITH YOU AND I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR COMING AGAIN. I KNOW YOU ARE WEAK. I SEE YOUR CONCERNS AND FEARS. I SEE YOUR DOUBTS. YOU CAN’T HIDE THEM FROM ME. THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND ME. AND YOU KEEP COMING. THAT IS WHAT I WANT IN THE END. OUR RELATIONSHIP. THIS IS NOT HARD. LIVING WITH ME IS NOT HARD. LIVING WITH ME IS EASY. IT’S DEALING WITH YOUR OWN IMPATIENCE THAT IS HARD ON YOU. DEALING WITH YOUR OWN LACK OF FAITH IS HARD ON YOU. BUT NOT LIVING WITH ME. LIVING WITH ME IS SWEET. I LOVE LIVING WITH YOU ALSO. THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO AND CONTINUE DOING. TO LIVE WITH YOU. YOU INVITED ME, I AM HERE TO STAY”.
That line gave me joy! Simply that He acknowledged my invitation. Have you ever invited people to something and they didn’t even acknowledge you or turned you down? Awe… Jesus accepted the invite!! Permanently!!
“I CELEBRATE YOU. I AM FULL OF JOY FOR THE ROAD WE ARE TAKING TOGETHER. THIS ROAD IS NOT DIFFICULT, IT IS ACTUALLY LEADING TO JOY AND YOU CAN NOW SEE IT. AS I SAID BEFORE, ‘I AM NEVER IN THE DISAPPOINTMENT BUSINESS’. WHAT YOU PERCEIVE AS DISAPPOINTMENT, I AM PREPARING FOR JOY. AND I REASSURE YOU, YOU WILL BE FULL OF JOY WHEN YOU REACH THAT LEVEL OF MATURITY I INTEND FOR YOU. YES, I CONSIDER YOU MATURE AND WISE. YOU ARE SO IN MY BOOKS. YOU JUST HAVE TO ALLOW ME TO MOLD YOU AS I AM ALREADY PLANNING TO CONTINUE TO DO. THIS ROAD IS FUN, EVEN WITH ROAD BLOCKS INCLUDED. ROAD BLOCKS DON’T HINDER ME AT ALL. DID YOU KNOW THAT? ROAD BLOCKS ARE NOT SET BACKS FOR ME. NEVER! NOT IN THEIR WILDEST DREAMS. ROAD BLOCKS ARE ACTUALLY BY MY DESIGN, THEY ARE MEANT FOR YOUR MOLDING. SWEET MOLDING. NOT BITTER TASTING. THIS IS FUN. CAN YOU TELL I AM EXCITED? I AM EXCITED BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW AND SEE THE HAPPY ENDING. YES, THERE IS A HAPPY ENDING EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE FELT FOR A WHILE NOW THAT YOU CAN’T PERCEIVE EVER TO REACH A HAPPY ENDING. YES, THERE IS ONE. AND I DON’T MEAN IT’S THE END OF LIFE. YOU WILL REACH THE GOALS YOU WANT BECAUSE THEY ARE INSCRIBED IN MY HEART AND MIND AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT… I AM THINKING ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME. I AM NEVER OFF, I NEVER SLEEP. I HAVE YOUR WELL BEING IN MIND AT ALL TIMES. AND I LOVE THIS JOURNEY THAT WILL TAKE US THERE TOGETHER. YOU ALREADY SHINE LIKE A STAR. I MEAN IT. I SAID ‘HOLD ON, THIS IS ABOUT TO GET CRAZY WILD’. WHY DID YOU NOT BELIEVE? DID I NOT SAY THAT IF YOU BELIEVE, YOU WOULD SEE THE GLORY OF GOD? I LOVE YOU, KEEP BELIEVING AND KEEP WALKING”.
If you just read the previous blog: “Vision: God’s Refrigerator”, this next one is on 2 visions God gave my daughter and I a few years back, again on His abundance. At the time it had to do with finacial provision for her.
My daughter and I were having a conversation just earlier. She had teary eyes as she was expressing her concerns and fears about God’s provision as she is about to launch into her calling as a missionary after graduation. I shared with her out of a book I was reading, it just happened to have a section where the author was sharing how in a vision he saw a storeroom in heaven where God showed him all kinds of money and told him about His provisions.
Then I suggested we pray and ask God to show us each a vision in regards to money and His provision. Tears were running down her face as she was waiting upon God and watching. I did the same thing individually and then we shared what we each saw and heard the Lord say.
She saw herself sitting on a bench, the Lord Jesus…
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Today I was praying about God’s abundance. I asked God to show me a picture of what His abundance is like. It would help me see that His abundance is a total absence of lack! Any sort of lack. Whether it be emotional, financial, relationships, etc. It came to my mind that I could ask God to show me what His refrigerator in Heaven would look like if there was such a thing. (Now, don’t go run and say I said there is a physical refrigerator in heaven)… 🙂
Right away in prayer the picture started developing. This is what God’s abundance would look like: From the outside, His refrigerator would look like a normal double door large refrigerator. As tall as the one in your kitchen. But as soon as you open….. the size inside becomes ridiculously enormous. You can’t see the back of the refrigerator because it is so deep. The width is also crazy. Opening the refrigerator from the outside can be done by a single person, but when you open, thousands of people could crawl into it at the same time. It’s sooo tall. In fact you need ladders to climb up and reach things at higher level. There is bright light also inside of it. The bottles, jars, fruits, vegies, perishables, non-perishables, cooked food, raw food, desserts… all you can imagine. But the most amazing thing I could sense is that food never runs out!!! Thousands eat out of the refrigerator at the same time and the quantity of food never diminishes because this refrigerator keeps PRODUCING more food like a tree produces fruit. You can pick off fruit but more fruit keeps growing. That’s what His refrigerator is like! You can eat all you want. And best of all, you are not freezing cold inside the refrigerator (I hate cold weather) as it is the right temperature although when you open, the same kind of cold air rolls out like when you open a freezer! Can you see it? Can you picture it? Can you fathom this abundance? I speak this kind of abundance into my life! Let the natural agree with the supernatural that already exists in the glory realm!! Amen! There is no lack with God.
Ok, I got caught… I am a very organized person. I have to feel I have my ducks in a row. I have to have a system. Even in my walk with the Lord I feel I have to have a specific routine to keep me focused. I was about to create another formula, routine, system… to get access to the spiritual realm where I know there is breakthrough… (maybe a certain pattern to intercede or certain amount of hours or fasting or…. whatever I can do in my power to reach more of Him or maybe twist His arm for anwers even). Then I heard…
“THERE IS NOT A FORMULA. RELAX IN ME AND KNOW THAT I ANSWER WITHOUT YOU NEEDING TO PERFORM BY A CERTAIN FORMULA. REST IN ME. I HEAR YOUR PRAYERS. PRAY AND REST. THERE IS NO FORMULA. THERE IS NOTHING SET IN STONE, NO PARTICULAR ORDER. RELAX IN ME. I CREATE NO FORMULAS FOR YOU. TRUST ME FOR THE NEW. TRUST ME FOR THE FLOW. TRUST ME ON A DAILY BASIS. IT IS NEW EVERY DAY. TOSS AWAY ANY DESIRE FOR A FORMULA TO GO BY. IF FOLLOWING A FORMULA, YOU DON’T NEED TO TRUST ME. TRUST ONLY ME TO GIVE YOU NEW INSIGHT. AND THEN YOU CAN MOVE WITH MY WISDOM, NOT TRUSTING IN YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING OF A FORMULA. LET ME MOVE THROUGH YOU. LET ME CREATE NEW DESIGNS FOR YOU. LET ME FLOW THROUGH YOU. LET ME SHOW YOU THE NEW AND THE EXCITING. THE HIGH AND THE DEEP, THE WIDE AND THE STRONG. LET ME REVEAL TO YOU WHAT IS HIDDEN. WHAT YOU KNOW NOT. AT LEAST NOT YET, BUT I WILL REVEAL TO YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND CHERISH YOU. I SHARE SECRETS WITH THOSE WHO LOVE ME. AND THIS IS IT. TRUSTING ME DAILY FOR THESE, NOT LEANING ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. THIS DAY IS NEW. YESTERDAY IS GONE. TOMORROW IS STILL COMING BUT I AM ALREADY THERE. DON’T YOU THINK IT IS BEST TO JUST ENJOY ME AND TRUST ME EACH NEW DAY WITH NEW FLOW? I LOVE YOU AND LOVE GIGGLING FREELY WITH YOU. WHO CARES ABOUT THE REST?”
Wow… It’s been a week since I posted this other entry. I went to re-read this morning and my eyes became wide when I saw the same word “formula”. He talked about it before I realize now. He must be wanting to deal with my need to create patterns and formulas to feel more successful in all I do.
“It’s not looking good, Jesus!!!”
“AND… SAYS WHO? WHO IS DRAWING THAT CONCLUSION? WHO HAS DECIDED IT IS NOT LOOKING GOOD? ARE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES THE LAST OF OPTIONS? WHO DECIDES WHEN THINGS LOOK GOOD AND WHEN THINGS LOOK BAD? HAVE YOU NOT READ IN SCRIPTURE HOW MANY THINGS APPARENTLY LOOKED BAD? LAZARUS DIED. THERE WAS NO FOOD FOR 5,000 MEN. THERE WAS NO MORE WINE AT THE WEDDING. THINGS LOOKED BAD. IS THAT HOW I LEFT THEM? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN IN SCRIPTURE? HAVE YOU NOT READ? ARE YOU STILL SO UNBELIEVING? WHO HAS SET A FORMULA FOR YOU? WHO HAS SET THE MOLD THAT YOU SHOULD MEASURE UP TO? I AM HE. I AM HE WHO SPEAKS AND CREATES OUT OF NOTHING. DO I NEED YOUR HELP IN ANYTHING? AM I IMPRESSED WITH YOUR WORKS SO MUCH SO AS TO NEED YOU TO ASSIST ME IN SOMETHING? NO MY DARLING. I NEVER ARRIVE LATE, I NEVER NEED SOMETHING TO BEGIN WITH. AND I CERTAINLY DONT NEED YOUR HELP OR OPINION IF IT LOOKS GOOD OR NOT. YOU CAN REJOICE THAT I’VE GOT THIS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU MAKE ME SMILE.