I was talking to the Lord about some dissapointments and emotions. There are times when you feel that things would be better if …. (fill in the blanks). It seems like we are never 100% satisfied. Maybe I would be more valued if …. more appreciated if… more happy if…. more satisfied if… more fulfilled if…more content if…
But it was that still small voice that said “I WANT TO BE YOUR COMPLETE SATISFACTION”. I realized that indeed it is futile to assume that a better situation, location or even activity would make me more fulfilled and satisfied. As I sat down a few days later to journal what the Lord had to say, He asked again to allow Him to be that TOTAL FULFILLMENT in my life. He already approved of me, already saved me, already has me as His prized possession, already called me… nothing more is needed to fulfill or satisfy my soul. He also warned that our heart is always where our god is and that He wants to be my Only God. Even ministry does not complete me like He completes me.
Lord Jesus… help me each time I find myself disappointed for not feeling accomplished enough, satisfied enough, valued enough or whatever else. Help me focus on You as my total satisfaction and that my soul needs nothing else. You are enough.
Good Morning, Jesus… I wanted to spend all day with you. I want to have a change in mindset how I can pursue a breakthrough in our Supernatural endeavor in Business. I ask that you fill me today with understanding. I lack so much understanding. I don’t know where to begin. I am already in a process as far as years of experience in business. How do I throw all of it away and start from scratch with a new mindset?
DID I SAY TO THROW SOMETHING AWAY? JUST GO WITH ME AND LET ME CALL THE SHOTS. IT’S SO EASY TO MAKE ASSUMPTIONS. BUT ASSUMPTIONS ARE NOT NECESSARY WHEN YOU WALK AND LIVE WITH ME BECAUSE I GUIDE YOU. DON’T DO ANYTHING OUT OF ASSUMPTION. THIS IS HARD TO DO WHEN YOU ARE NOT USED TO IT BUT IT BECOMES EASY AS YOU KEEP SUBMITTING DAILY. WE JUST WALK TOGETHER, AS EASY AS THAT. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BECAUSE YOU DESIRE TO WALK WITH ME. I LOVE YOU REGARDLESS BUT I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU DESIRE TO WALK WITH ME. THIS FILLS ME WITH JOY. HERE, AT THIS POINT, WE DON’T HAVE TO REPEAT PROMISES. I REASSURE YOU THAT ALL PROMISES ARE STORED IN MY HEART AND IN YOURS. WE DON’T HAVE TO REVISIT THEM DAILY. JUST LIVE WITH ME IN THOSE DREAMS WHERE WE ALREADY LIVE IN THE SPIRIT. THAT’S IT. LIVE WITH ME IN OUR DREAM. LET ME BREATH OVER YOUR DREAMS. LET ME BRING LIFE TO OUR DREAM. THIS IS OUR DREAM. IT IS NOT YOURS ALONE. AND IF MINE ALSO, I BREATH ON IT AND GIVE IT LIFE OF ITS OWN. THIS IS NOT YOUR DOING. BY NOW YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WELL ALTHOUGH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND AT ALL. ISN’T THAT SOMETHING? I KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND THE POINT. BUT YOU NEED TO WALK IN THIS ENOUGH TO HAVE THE POINT SINK IN. HOW TO WALK WITH ME AND LET ME BREATHE LIFE INTO OUR DREAM. I LOVE YOU AND ON MY END YOU KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR DISAPPOINT YOU. LET ME MAKE THAT PART CLEAR. I AM NOT HERE TO DISAPPOINT YOU. I REALLY AM NOT. I AM NOT IN THE DISAPPOINTMENT BUSINESS. I LIVE WITH YOU TO GIVE YOU JOY. THIS IS WHERE WE LIVE. IN THE JOY ZONE. AND THIS IS HOW MY JOY IS YOUR STRENGTH. LIVE IN THIS JOY ZONE WITH ME. I AM YOUR JOY.
I was reading Scripture this morning and light shone on my heart. I felt the need to talk about the Lord about some wrong attitudes in me. I wanted to ask Him about those and let Him know I want Him to change my heart. I love it that He doesn’t lash out at us when we are wrong…
“MY DARLING. I LOVE YOUR OPENNESS WITH ME. I LOVE THAT YOU DON’T HIDE ANYTHING. THERE IS NO POINT, I SEE IT ANYWAY. THANK YOU FOR BEING OPEN WITH ME. I LOVE IT. I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE US. I’M IN LOVE WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP. I LOVE WHAT WE HAVE TOGETHER. I LOVE BEING WITH YOU. I LOVE THAT YOU KEEP COMING TO ME. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU. AND I LOVE THAT I CAN MAKE YOU SMILE TOO. CAUSE YOU MAKE ME SMILE ALL THE TIME. I THINK YOU’RE SO CUTE.
NOW, NOTHING CUTE ABOUT THE THINGS YOU MENTIONED, BUT NOTHING MY BLOOD CAN’T COVER. NOT ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME AND NOT ANYTHING I AM FREAKING OUT OVER. NOT ANYTHING I CAN’T HELP YOU WITH. SEE, MY OWN BLOOD DOES THIS. I AM COOL LIKE THAT. I LOVE CLEANING UP MESSES. I LOVE RESTORING. I LOVE FORGIVING. I LOVE MAKING THINGS RIGHT IN YOU AND I LOVE THAT YOU ARE WILLING. I AM WILLING. I AM MORE THEN WILLING. THESE THINGS I SHALL DO FOR YOU AS YOU STAY WITH ME. YES, I WANT TO CHANGE YOUR HEART. YOUR HEART IS MINE ANYWAY AND I CHANGE IT THE WAY I WANT IT, JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT. THANK YOU FOR BEING WILLING. THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST. I LOVE YOU”.
MY DARLING, I SEE YOUR SORROW. IT IS GOOD FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE SORROW, EVEN FOR A MOMENT, FOR CHANGE OF HEART TO HAPPEN. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, I CAN NOT LEAVE YOU IN YOUR OLD WAYS. I WANT TO CHANGE YOUR HEART AND I CAN PERFORM THIS TYPE OF SURGERY. I AM GOOD AT IT. YOU WILL NOT NEED ANESTHESIA BECAUSE IT WILL NOT HURT. YOU ARE FEELING SORROW BUT THIS IS NOT THE KIND OF PAIN THAT FOOLS WILL EXPERIENCE. IT HURTS FAR MORE TO CONTINUE LIVING AS A FOOL. I AM GOOD AT WHAT I DO. YOU CAN TRUST ME TO GUIDE YOUR REPENTANT HEART. I AM NOT LATE, NO. TRUST ME THAT I AM NOT LATE. THIS IS THE RIGHT TIMING. THIS WAS THE PROPER TRAINING. YOU ARE NOW WISER BECAUSE OF THIS ROUTE. ANOTHER ROUTE WOULD HAVE NOT DONE THE JOB. TRUST ME. REMEMBER I SAID I AM NOT IN A HURRY. YOU GO BY YEARS THIS PROCESS IS TAKING BECAUSE YOU GO BY HUMAN CLOCK. I DON’T GO BY HUMAN CLOCK. I WORK IN HEARTS, HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES ON YOUR CLOCK BUT I DO A PERFECT JOB. I DO NOT CUT CORNERS TO MAKE PROCESSES FASTER. THIS IS MY TIMING AND THE OUTCOME WILL BE PERFECT. YOU CAN TRUST ME IN THIS. EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE THEIR OWN PROCESS AND THEY ALSO WILL LEARN FROM IT. YOUR PROCESS IS UNIQUE AND THIS IS HOW I CHOOSE TO USE YOU TO BLESS OTHER LIVES. I LOVE YOUR REPENTANCE AND IT FEELS GOOD INSIDE. WHAT A FREEDOM. IT IS FOR THIS FREEDOM THAT I HAVE SET YOU FREE. DO NOT SUBMIT AGAIN TO THE YOKE OF SLAVERY, WALKING IN YOUR OWN WAYS. YOU ALONE WOULD CONTINUE TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND AM VERY PROUD OF YOU. TO ME YOU SHINE LIKE A STAR.
“yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, …..” (2 Corinthians 7:9-11 NIV)
As I read that old blog post about God’s speed and timing, I sat still and these words flowed from the Holy Spirit…
THERE IS NO RUSH
WHY IS THIS THOUGHT SO SCARRY?
TOMORROW THERE WILL STILL BE SNOW ON THE SNOW CAPPED MOUNTAINS
THE LILIES WILL STILL BE GROWING IN THE VALLEYS
THE MAJESTIC TREES IN THE AMAZON WILL STILL BE STANDING TALL
SO, WHAT’S THE HURRY?
IF TODAY OR TOMORROW….
I AM STILL THE GOD OF ETERNITY.
It is the new trend it seems. This time a lawyer and former student of a Florida University is the gunman.
Can anyone guess why this is happening in schools all over the country? I am posting the link to what I blogged a while ago.
Its time to repent, America!!
This is a word I received from the Lord couple days ago while praying… I hope it will be received in your heart also…
“STAY WITH ME, I MYSELF AM THE SOURCE OF ALL CHANGE. YOU ARE NOT HARD FOR ME TO WORK ON. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE WILLING TO COME TO ME. I AM THE AUTHOR OF ALL CHANGE. I AM THE CHANGE AGENT. I AM HE WHO CLEANSES YOU AND EXAMINE YOU MYSELF, I AM HE WHO SEARCHES YOU, NOT YOU SEARCHING YOURSELF. I DO NOT BRING CONDEMNATION. COME TO ME SO WE CAN SIT AND TALK. YOU HAVE MANY ISSUES THAT IRRITATE YOU AND I WANT US TO SIT AND DISCUSS THEM. LET ME DO A PROFOUND WORK IN YOU. DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEM? DO YOU WANT TO SIT ON MY LAP? WE CAN VISIT EACH ISSUE ONE BY ONE. I CAN DEAL WITH THEM. WE CAN FINISH THE WORK TOGETHER IF YOU ARE WILLING BUT I AM WILLING TO BEGIN. AND I WHO BEGIN THE WORK AM ALSO CAPABLE OF COMPLETING IT. IF YOU ARE WILLING. DO YOU WISH TO COME TO ME? I SEE ALL THINGS THAT BOTHER YOU. NO NEED TO HIDE THEM. YOU FEAR MANY THINGS. NO NEED TO PRETEND YOU DON’T. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BRING THEM ALL BEFORE ME AND LET ME DEAL WITH THEM – ONE BY ONE”.
It started 2 years ago… September 2011… a belief for something impossible. A hope that was so deep I couldn’t shake it off. I had mountains of promises from You I thought, to back up what I was believing for. And though it was too ridiculous to tell people about, I hoped against all hope and believed in silence. I was in my prayer closet. Proclaiming Your promises. Remembering all the dreams and visions. But nothing like it has been done before, at least not the way I am envisioning it nor the time frame this is going to take if it were to come true. “Am I losing my mind”? And yet I believed… I believed in the most stubborn way, most crazy faith… to the very end.
But I was wrong… at least as far as the timing was concerned. Where did I miss the boat? “How could God hurt my faith so badly? Why didn’t He tell me upfront that my timing was off?” Here I thought You wanted me to run into my destiny and meet all Your promises and watch all those dreams and visions become reality, but I was actually running to the altar where You’d want me to lay it all down…to die. And die it all did. For a full year I let all hopes die, knowing You’d come and raise them from the dead like you promised through yet another dream. But my faith was bruised. My hopes were dashed…. those crazy hopes that were at level 10! They crashed all the way to ground zero. My head knows better… You don’t hurt me, You don’t deceive me. Yet my heart felt different. In fact my heart was bleeding tears, for that full year, faith so shaken. “Maybe after all I don’t know how to hear God. Maybe afterall, He never spoke. But those dreams? Those visions in the night or while in prayer… I know I didn’t make them up”.
Yes, it is obvious You came along just recently and indeed raised my dreams from the dead. It is obvious the season has changed. My faith is alive and well. Your promises are still constantly dancing inside of me and I can’t shake them off even if I tried. But if last time I hardly told anyone what I was believing for… this time all the more I can’t tell anyone. In case I am wrong again… because the new circumstances make it so that this is crazier to believe for. This is more unheard-of yet. The time frame would be even more ridiculous if it were accomplished. And even if it were accomplished… why me? What is the Kingdom purpose behind all this? And how can I explain the impossible? How do you explain the supernatural? Because it can only be accomplished supernaturally as you already said it would be. So I have been protecting my heart (from You). I don’t want (You) to hurt me again and bruise my faith. I am playing it safe, just in case. I do believe fully, but just in case, I am not taking any chances, I could be wrong again on this whole thing. And I said over and over again… “God, don’t give me anymore promises. I can’t take another dream or vision. I can’t come listen to You anymore because I don’t want to talk about this. It still hurts to know I believed so much and I was off. Let’s not talk about it”. I even hesitated in journaling much anymore so the topic would’t come up. I know You did nothing wrong, Lord. God does not fail humans. God does not wrong His loved ones. Yet my heart felt different. So I protected myself from being shaken again.
But I woke up today with a resolve. This is God I am doubting. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. No more. This is my pact with You. I will abandon this self protection (against God). I am willing to risk it again. What if I am off again? Then so be it. I am going all the way. I am tired of treating all confirmations as a coincidence. I am so fat with Your promises and even if I shut my ears from hearing You, I hear the same words ringing from other sources You choose to use. I can’t escape the hope. It has grown again to level 10. And what if my hopes come crashing again? This time they would splat and drop below ground zero! God, so be it. I am making myself vulnerable before You. Because I believe deep down that there is no part in You that wants to hurt me. You did not wrong me. I was off and I am willing to be off again. But I trust You. I believe this time it is what I believed for… and I smile. I remember all secrets we shared. All the daydreaming we did together. I wasn’t alone in it all and I am not this time either. I am dreaming together with You and I believe I am dreaming Your dreams. Let the supernatural flow. Give God all the praise upfront, oh, my soul.
America, hear the call to surrender to God! Do you know why your schools are not safe any longer, America? Because you have kicked God out of your schools! Prayer in school offends you! Bibles in school offends you! The mention of the Name of Jesus Christ in school offends you! And God is offended at this. His protection over your schools is lifted!
Yes, this is hard to hear and we immediately question if a God of love could allow such pain and suffering. Someone just yesterday said to me, “not all bad things that happen are God’s judgements, many are due to the doings of evil men”. I agree! And God uses evil men also to bring judgement on any nation He wants to. This is also seen in scripture. Repentance turns God’s wrath away.
This week we are seeing schools ripped apart by tornadoes as shown on the picture below. Natural disasters also come to a nation as God’s judgement! Hard truth to take. And foolish sounding idea for sure! Some may even get very angry at hearing such idea. “The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned”. 1 Cor 2:14. We must start discerning the times. America, your schools are no longer safe! You must surrender to God. You have kicked God out of your schools! This you have done! You have shaken your fist at God. His protection is no longer over your schools. School shootings… schools destroyed by natural disasters…. what else does it take for America to understand, repent and surrender?